Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - Thoughts

"Smooth"

That's the adjective that immediately comes to mind when I think of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Nintendo's most polished racer to date. Like a cool glass of water after a mile run, 8 Deluxe delivers a refreshing racing experience, finally finding the perfect balance between difficulty and fun. It not only builds off the solid foundation laid by the 3DS entry but tosses in new cars, racers, and bonus tracks, bundling the package together with some of the most gorgeous visuals and lively music the Wii U has to offer. 8 Deluxe buffs out almost every blemish in the series, creating a glittering crystal of pure, smooth karting.

While Mario Kart 8 brings a host of improvements worthy of merit—the live-studio retro remixes being among the best—the biggest one personally is the new ranking system. Back in the Wii and DS titles, there were a number of factors that could lead to a sub-optimal ranking, including but not limited to: time spent off course, shells blocked, obstacles hit, walls hit, pits fallen down, lap time, and number of drift boosts achieved. In 8, all of that is thrown in the rubbish bin for a pared down premise: simply place 1st in all four races. This keeps the single-player "endgame" more competitive than Super and 64 while avoiding the hair-pulling perfection required in Wii and DS, granting the best of both worlds. And considering that the trophies you earn in 150cc count for both 50cc & 100cc, it also skips the dull busywork of every game prior.

Of course, Mario Kart 8 remains "Mario Kart" at its core, so expect to wronged every now and then. Victories can (and will) be stolen by last-second blue shells just as often as opponents will attack you after you've already been hit, swiftly booting you from 1st to 9th. I think the item balance is better than its been (at least for the Wii U version), but chaos remains a large factor in determining outcomes—at least larger than I'd prefer. I also think the boomerang is an annoying item (it's useless when you have it and unavoidable when you don't) but it's thankfully counterbalanced by the super horn, a phenomenal new item that can reliably repel blue shells. Admittedly I didn't get to use it that frequently (I prevented a grand total of two blue shells) but I was always happy to see it pop out of the roulette.

If there is one thing to be disappointed by in Mario Kart 8, it's that the anti-gravity sections don't really add that much to the game. If anything, their constant bending and winding can blur details in the background, just as their twisting of the road obscures corners, thereby rendering them less impactful. This tends to make tracks feel less distinctive, despite their paradoxically stunning visuals and catchy music; it takes a while for me to recall which courses are in each of the cups, despite having played 8 longer than any other entry thus far.

Then again, I'm likely just grasping at faults for the sake of fairness, as Mario Kart 8 Deluxe delivers a bevy of fantastic new circuits. While there are a few that are groan-worthy (I'm looking at you, Dolphin Shoals and Baby Park), there's still plenty to look forward to. Sweet Sweet Canyon, Toad Harbor, Sunshine Airport, and Hyrule Circuit are all delights to race on, Ice Ice Outpost and Cheese Land have excellent (but risky!) shortcuts, and Mount Wario outshines 7's Rainbow Road as the best single lap track in the series. The retro track selection is no slouch either, especially since the SNES and GBA courses have received a much-needed, three-dimensional makeover. With a whopping 48 courses total, it's impossible not to discover a few new favorites.

By now if you haven't noticed, I've been using 8 and 8 Deluxe interchangeably, as I wound up playing (and three-starring!) both. I was initially curious if I could spot any changes between the versions, but after a while I found the game so relaxing and fun that I eagerly completed both. For the most part 8 Deluxe is the better of the two: it comes bundled with the DLC, has sharper graphics, a better battle mode, a new pink boost, a (presently active) online service, and it's more portable than its Wii U counterpart. Deluxe also brings back double item slots, but they're a double-edged sword: you have a better chance at getting an item to defend yourself, but the CPU will be tossing a lot more colored shells your way. Solely due to that I think I prefer the Wii U version more, but I can't deny that Deluxe is straight-up a better package.

Lastly 200cc is—hands-down—a brilliant addition. I was skeptical approaching its high-octane difficulty since I had heard that the game wasn't really designed around it, but what I love is that it transforms the circuits into the most dangerous part of the race. Tracks that were originally a snoozefest (Donut Plains 3, Animal Crossing, Special Cup's Rainbow Road) become brake-filled nightmares that can shorten your hard-earned lead in an instant. While it's vexing to constantly be flying off course and smashing into a wall—Bone Dry Dunes and Animal Crossing seriously require practice—it was great having a challenge independent of RNG; for once I found myself more afraid of hairpin corners than the whistle of a blue shell. Plus the CPU is poorly optimized for the breakneck speed, leading to a lot of hilarious moments where they overtake you just to zoom over the side of a cliff. I really can't suggest 200cc enough, especially if you've grown bored of conquering 150cc.

If you set aside nostalgia, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe emerges head and shoulders above its peers. It's gorgeous, easy to control, loaded with characters, karts, and tracks, and both the AI & item balance feel perfect. It took 12 years but at last Mario Kart has built a sturdy bridge between competitive and casual play, especially for single player; aiming for three stars is a serious challenge that's tense without being rigid, and light-hearted but not lackadaisical. If Mario Kart Wii left me feeling like I had choked down ice cream slathered in ketchup, 8 Deluxe was akin to feasting on an unlimited supply of buttery waffles and crispy fried chicken. It's not only the best Mario Kart, but possibly one of the best arcade racers ever made...

... so long as you can overlook the ever-awful blue shell.

Mario Kart Wii - Thoughts

If Mario Kart DS tested my patience, Mario Kart Wii almost snapped it in half like a twig. Wii takes the punishing ranking system from DS and mixes in more chaos, adding four additional racers and some annoying new items. Prepare to be bombarded by blue shells, lightning bolts, POW blocks, mega mushrooms, stars, and bullet bills—all of which can jump out at any moment and sabotage your lead, especially if you're hit mid-air. Although Mario Kart Wii looks like a lighthearted racer with a goofy control scheme, it hides a callous ranking system that's impossible to please.

Just so you know, I've had my fair share of doubts about aiming for three stars. Why intentionally frustrate myself over Mario Kart of all things, a series most folks would agree is more fun than balanced? Three-starring every cup is a meaningless, time-consuming accolade, akin to platinuming a mediocre RPG. Except instead of completing sidequests and exploring different classes, I'm running the same cup over and over until the planets align and I finally clinch a victory. Anyone that's played Mario Kart Wii knows just what I mean—blue shells will ruin races more often than not.

But without focusing on the star ranking, what else is there? The online for everything but 8 Deluxe is defunct, Mario Kart DS is the only entry with a mission mode, and neither battle mode nor time trials are my cup of tea. Netting a gold trophy in every cup has always been the traditional goal of Mario Kart... but that's hardly a challenge outside of SNES title. Even on 150cc/Mirror most of the cups are conquered on your first or second try; hell, it's mathematically possible to place 2nd in every race and still come out on top. That's why I thought it would be fun to get three stars for each game (sans the terrible Super Circuit), as it would familiarize me with the courses better than filling the digital trophy case would. And for the most part I'd say this endeavor has been an enjoyable experience... but that's largely because I'm thinking of my time with 7 and 8.

Without question, I found Mario Kart Wii to be the nadir of my three-star journey. It's a really cool, colorful, approachable game, but Mario Kart Wii has absolutely zero qualms with treating the player like garbage. The added racers and POW block crank the game's zaniness up way too high for its own good, transforming your suffering from "frustrating" into "nihilistically comical". My thoughts on the DS game were sprinkled with personal examples of misfortune, but there were too many for me to count for Wii; I think the worst example is when I took five blue shells in the final two laps of a circuit. On top of that I've been blue shelled before the finish line, sent helplessly careening into a pit, and walloped by consecutive red shells, each a dozen times—or more! At one point I got so thoroughly thrashed in a single lap that I felt as though I had achieved rage nirvana, stoically realizing there was nothing inside of me save for the solar-hot ire of contempt.

I suspect this blog post reads like an indictment of my own obsessive nature, so let me reiterate that Mario Kart Wii is still plenty of fun, especially if played casually. The tracks featured in both the nitro and retro cups range from decent to phenomenal, with the standouts being Toad's Factory, Coconut Mall, Grumble Volcano, and Moonview Highway; Wii's Special Cup is definitely one of the best cups in the entire series. Motorcycles are also an interesting addition, giving you the option to go faster on straightaways at the cost of control and balance, causing a single bump from another racer to fling you off course. This happens more often than it should due to the CPUs zipping all over the road (without a drop in speed, irritatingly) but I appreciate being able to do something on long stretches of empty road. Wheelies serve as a good compromise between the dynamism that coins provide and the high-stakes nature of classic drifting.

I want to like Mario Kart Wii more—I really do!—but when I think back to it I'm instantly caught up in the misery of the three-star swamp. It hit early on in 50cc too, where despite being twenty seconds faster than my closest competitor I was still receiving a humiliating two stars. Not even Mario Kart DS had the nerve to waylay me on the easiest setting! Because of this I likely learned Wii the best out of all the games, which isn't too bad since it has some of the best courses... but what stymied me the most were the boring and short tracks! Shell Cup in particular was a nasty experience, as the races are so brief that a single shell or slip-up can doom your run. Even when I won I didn't feel like it was due to smarter or snappier play as much as it was just dumb luck; escaping the CPU conga line of death always gave me the best shot at 1st place, a task that hinged entirely on early item RNG.

Between the Wii and DS titles, I'm not sure which I ultimately prefer. They both provide similar but asymmetrical experiences: DS has tougher CPUs that frequently boost ahead for no reason, but Wii arms them with stronger weapons (most of which rob you of your defensive item). Wii includes better retro tracks that gel nicely with the new aerial boosts, but it lacks the quirky mission mode from DS. DS has a player item tally on the bottom screen which lets you be on the lookout for blue shells, but Wii offers more methods to play. The Wii looks better but the DS is easily portable and can be played with friends that own the console, but not the game. I think personally what gives Wii the edge in the end is that it's simply easier on your thumb, introducing a boost system that's easy to comprehend and perform but no less engaging than the ol' left-right-left-right.

Look—I can handle being blindsided by a blue shell. I can endure several of them per cup! I readily tolerate lightning bolts killing my momentum, bananas lurking behind massive ink blotches, and untimely POW blocks hurtling me into the depths of Mushroom Gorge. My problem is that when I overcome these perilous trials, managing to recover from catastrophe after catastrophe, I'm rarely rewarded for the effort. Most of the time—despite finishing first in every race!—I walk away with one or two stars, which leaves me to pour over my failings, both real and imagined. Was I not fast enough? Bounced against one too many walls? Should I have waited for the red shell to hit me before going over that jump pad?

Mario Kart Wii and its nasty DS cousin care not for your excuses; you play by their rules, get judged by their metrics, and take a blue shell whenever they damn well want you to. It would be foolish to argue that they're not fun racers, but I find their ranking system to be rude, capricious, and indecipherable. It never tells you what you did wrong and blames you for mistakes beyond your control, forcing you to run clean races in a messy racing game. A good ranking system adds nuance to a victory; Mario Kart Wii makes you feel bad for winning.

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Images obtained from: wikimedia.org, gamefaqs.com, nintendolife.com, wired.com

Mario Kart DS - Thoughts

Mario Kart DS seriously tested my patience at times. I think it's leagues better than the first three entries, but it is not a kind nor forgiving experience. DS is like a parent you can never please, unhappy with your performance in spite of you trying your best. Some days it'll let you get away with a sloppy corner or two, but most of the time it will stare down its nose, scoffing, "You call that a drift boost?" If you can ignore its harsh grading, Mario Kart DS is a fun little package with good ideas. However, if your heart's desire is the hallowed three stars, prepare for that dream to be laughed at and spat on.

Mario Kart DS is the last game in the series to use the classic drift boost system, and I'm not sad to see it go. You activate it by alternating left and right while drifting, but it's never been something I could consistently pull off in any of the titles. Its problem is less that the maneuver is difficult to perform and more that it's unclear what separates a successful boost from a failed one. Even when I'm confident in a corner, boosting is always a gamble; take too long to perform the action and you'll find yourself off course, careening towards a wall. And though I appreciate the dexterity required to pull it off, boosting every race can physically wear on the thumb—especially if you're using the 3DS's jagged d-pad.

Inconsistent boosting wasn't a huge deal for the earlier titles—64's rubberbanding is a bigger bur—but the difference between those games and Mario Kart DS is the punishing ranking system. To be as efficient as the game thinks you should be, you'll not only have to get accustomed to drift boosting but also come to terms with the fact that you're going to lose. A lot. To succeed you'll have to stay within the bounds of the course, bump as few walls as possible, and keep a hold of 1st place for the majority of the race—and even then might only qualify for two stars. On top of that, blue shells will show up on every race (with 4-6 of them in the worst scenario) and DS's red shells have developed a nasty tendency to curve into your side, bypassing whatever defensive item you're holding. Now matter how many hits you suffer—and trust me, you'll suffer a payload—you still have to place first or you can kiss those three stars goodbye.

In theory, I don't think there's anything wrong with including a system that ranks you based on how well you did. But the ranking in Mario Kart DS is a pile of garbage straight-up crapshoot. It's fickle, punitive, and apathetic to your excuses, even if you get bumped off the road or sent spiraling into a pit by a lightning bolt. The ranking system won't acknowledge that you got blue shelled on Baby Park of all things (seriously, that track is 50 second long!), or that you kept getting fake item boxes so you had no way to avoid four red shells in a row—you perform up to the game's expectations, or run the entire cup over again. But the worst part about all of this—the thing I absolutely cannot stand—is that you are given no feedback as to what you did wrong. There's no score, time tally, or track-by-track rundown—just a simple grade, devoid of context. Was it that thwomp you ran into? The mud you slid across in Wario Stadium? Should you have drift boosted more? Mario Kart DS cares not for your cries; you will receive that two star rating and stew in solitude, left to ponder where it all went wrong.

Most of the time though, you know where it all went wrong—you were blue shelled (then red shelled) right before the finish line. Or you tried to cut a corner and ran into a chain chomp. Or you bumped into two walls over the course of an entire cup. But what's frustrating is that, akin to the drifting, the ranking feels unclear and arbitrary in its stringency. Sometimes you can slip into a pit, crash into a snowball, and rarely boost all lap... and nevertheless clinch a three star victory. It feels great when you succeed, but it makes your defeats all the more crushing, since you can rarely identify a mistake that wasn't present in your other victories. You don't learn how to play the game better as much as you just randomly manage to achieve three stars, which will happen more often should the blue shell forget to show its ugly face.

On one hand, Mario Kart DS's ranking system gives the game more longevity, providing a suitable challenge that will even give experts a run for their money. But on the other hand, it completely forgets that Mario Kart isn't about perfection—it's about fun, chaos, and a keeping sharp eye on the road ahead. Once you apply a rigorous formula that makes no exceptions or excuses, it turns Mario Kart into an RNG-heavy pain-in-the-ass with the odds feel stacked against you, given that you have to run not one but four flawless races in a row. You can gloat about being good at the game until you're red in the face, but that won't change the fact that some some victories will unequivocally be stolen from you. And that sucks. You might still snag a gold trophy in the end of course, but if you set your eyes any higher, prepare for the game to fight back with a dispassionate cruelty.

There is some good news though: the new courses are pretty good! Every cup has two tracks that can compete at the top of the Mario Kart echelon, balanced with a good amount of turns and fair stage hazards. Not only that, but quite a few tracks have some fantastic, fresh themes that are worthy of praise all on their own—Waluigi Pinball, Tick-Tock Clock, and Luigi's Mansion are what I'd deem the most memorable. Mario Kart DS is also the first (sorta second) appearance of retro courses, a much-needed inclusion that bulks up the game. Sadly, the retro line-up here is largely unimpressive; tracks from Super Mario Kart and Super Circuit are flat as a sheet of paper, dominated by boring straightaways and peppered with corners that have been neutered of their danger (due to DS having better controls). Plus the track selection is exceedingly dull: the Shell cup features not one but three intro tracks, and there's nothing exciting or noteworthy in the final retro cup.

Last but not least, Mario Kart DS's most notable feature is probably its Mission Mode: solo challenges that place you in a variety of wacky events, ranging from "race against the clock" and "collect coins" to "drive backwards" and "shoot baddies with shells". I think these are mostly... fine, I suppose. Every now and then there's a cool alteration or mechanic (like the boss fights) but some missions really don't work well within the Mario Kart framework, requiring too much precision or relying on luck. Yet the bigger sticking point for me is—you guessed it!—the ranking system. Some missions will gladly hand over three stars on a first or second completion, while others will see you running the course over and over, cutting off tenths of a second in the hopes of appeasing the go-kart gods. And similar to the ranking system in the grand prix, you're never given a threshold to hit nor told what you're doing wrong; you either do well, or run it again and again and again and again.

For casual play, it's hard to beat Mario Kart DS. It has a good selection of original tracks, a sizeable mission mode, and single-cart multiplayer to keep amateur drivers entertained. But beneath the exterior is a condescending ranking system that blends F-Zero GX's perfectionism with Mario Party's adoration for RNG-determined winners. It creates a foul mixture, the video game equivalent of dousing ice cream in ketchup. For some people that might work (or even sound appetizing), but it's undeniably a hard form of entertainment to stomach. Even when you finally net three stars in everything, you won't be relieved—you'll be angry and tired, sapped of your adoration for the franchise. Who knew that including a harsh grading system in a series that's all about enforcing equitable treatment would be about as fun as professionally speedrunning Candy Land.

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Images obtained from: nintendolife.com, gamereactor.com, eurogamer.net, twitter.com

Mario Kart 7 - Thoughts

Due to being wedged between the influential Wii and essential 8 (Deluxe) entries, Mario Kart 7 is often derided as the most forgettable Mario Kart. It's a game that suffers from very few problems... yet doesn't offer compelling reasons to play it nowadays. Which is a shame because had 7 come out a few entries earlier, it would've felt like a breath of fresh air, energizing the series with a smart drifting system and some phenomenal tracks. Even its unique gameplay additions—gliders and propellers—weirdly feel like claims that belong to 8 instead. Mario Kart 7 is a great racer that unfortunately can't escape from the shadow of its siblings.

First off, the game is gorgeous to see in motion, boasting a buttery-smooth 60-fps framerate even in 3D. Mario Kart DS was fairly impressive for the time but 7 makes you forget that it was designed for a handheld console. Plus unlike DS, the selection of retro courses in 7 is excellent, due to having more than the first three games to pull from. Waluigi's Pinball, Coconut Mall, Dino Dino Jungle, DK Pass—the retro cups are worthy of being served on a silver platter. And the nitro cups aren't sleepers either—Shy Guy Bazaar, Music Park, Wario Shipyard, and Rainbow Road ensure that any cup you pick has at least one stellar track to keep you on the edge of your seat.

And coins are back! I used to loathe them when I first played Mario Kart 7—why complicated an intentionally simple racing game?—but since revisiting the series, their return makes a lot more sense, especially with the new drift boost. In the old games, you'd use a lot of energy rocking the controller back and forth, having to judge whether or not you had the room (or thumb dexterity) to built up a boost. But with automatic boosts, it's much easier for the player to simply focus on racing an optimum path, making laps more methodical—as well as stale. By throwing coins into the mix (which increase your top speed a miniscule amount), the optimal path has some competition: do you go out of your way to grab some coins or stay the course? The gold goodies keep the gameplay mostly reactive rather than rote, especially since you'll be losing them frequently from pits, lightning bolts, and blue shells.

And boy, do I have a bone to pick with blue shells.

Now, blue shells have been a staple of the series for a long time—they were first introduced in Mario Kart 64 but the CPU wouldn't get ahold of them until Super Circuit. And honestly, they're a miserable tool, punishing the player in first while simultaneously doing nothing for the poor sap that launched it. I understand that they're a necessary evil that keeps matches competitive (especially online), but there's no rhyme or reason to their use; they pop up in close races just as often as runaway victories. And once you introduce a ranking system into the mix, blue shells turn Mario Kart into an RNG hellhole where flawless races can—and will—be stolen a hair from the finish line. In seeking to level the playing field, the blue demon arbitrarily punishes merit.

One good thing Mario Kart 7 has going for it is that it's relatively stingy with its blue shells—you can expect one or two per match. And since the CPU hangs onto them for 3-5 seconds, you have ample time to notice one coming thanks to the bottom screen revealing who has what item. Unfortunately, this still makes gunning for 3-stars kind of a silly experience; every straightaway has you frantically checking the bottom screen, hoping that your rival is close enough that you can slam on the brake and let them pass you. It's not too difficult to net triple stars across the board, but expect some bitter defeats that you'll have no control over... it's something I'll whinge about in more detail once I get to the DS entry.

Probably the most "serious" problem Mario Kart 7 faces is that it's a smidge light on content. It has fewer racers than the Wii version, hides items when using the full map, and contains no VS mode for some inexplicable reason, meaning you can't pit yourself against the CPU on a specific course unless you're playing an entire cup. None of these make or break the game however; I honestly take more of an issue with the tail powerup, as it's not only a situational item but occupies the item slot while it's active, leaving you naked when it expires. In almost every situation I would've much preferred a green shell or banana, just so I had some form of reliable defense.

Boasting some of the strongest courses in the series, Mario Kart 7 is worthy of a playthrough today, even if it does feel a bit barebones. There are aspects worth complaining about—again, why no VS mode?!—but every Mario Kart comes burdened with its own niggling issues, and I'm thankful 7 sports relatively few. It may not feel like a "must-play" but it paved the way for 8 and is loads of fun on its own. Maybe the most damning thing is that it shows how capable of an F-Zero the console was... but even 8 overshadows 7 in that respect.

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Images obtained from: clipartkey.com, nintendosoup.com, slashgear.com, nintendo.fandom.com

Mario Kart 64 - Thoughts

After suffering through Mario Kart: Super Circuit, I was left with a burning question: would Mario Kart 64 feel terrible to return to? I don't have a lot of love for the N64 because most of my favorite Nintendo games aren't on it (outside of the immaculate Star Fox 64.) Most rudimentary 3D titles would see better sequels released for the Gamecube or Wii—and Mario Kart 64 was no exception. While it's probably my most-played Mario Kart, I haven't gone back to it in roughly fifteen years... because there wasn't a reason to. Mario Kart 64 was an archaic stepping stone, one that gave way to bigger and better racers which were more deserving of my attention.

But hey, guess what: in 2021, it kinda holds up!

What doesn't hold up is the terrible N64 controller, as to drift boost you have to rock the control stick back and forth—and little pushes don't count. Thus repeated boosts can wear on your thumb, due to the controller's notoriously hard plastic and stiff resistance. It's nothing too terrible though; you'll simply botch drifts on occasion and will be forced to give your thumb a break between cups. I prefer modern Mario Kart's drift boost more (the longer you drift, the bigger the boost), but this oldschool style works decently enough once you get used to it.

Yet whatever problems I have with drift boosting pale in comparison to how annoying the AI is. The other racers are designed to catch up to the player in order to keep the match competitive, even on 50cc. That makes any leads fleeting as your two closest competitors will always bounce back, even if they're struck with a red shell and fly out of bounds. This is especially annoying on 150cc as any headway they'll make they'll keep, giving you no chance to surpass them as they move at inhuman speeds through the course. Toad's Turnpike in Mirror mode is a prime example of how atrocious the rubber banding is; the CPU can crash into oncoming traffic all they want but if you make one mistake, you're likely placing 2nd or below.

I wouldn't say this ruins the game however—it's just really obnoxious most of the time. To win matches you'll need to save a good item for the final stretch that'll allow you to zip ahead of your competitors, like a mushroom, star, red shell, or lightning bolt. Considering that's nearly half the items, you often have a good chance of grabbing something early on and using it as your ace in the hole on the last lap. And unlike every Mario Kart post-64, the AI has a separate item pool from the player, which thankfully lacks both blue and red shells. The most common offensive move the AI pulls is to toss bananas ahead of you, and it's honestly more of a danger to them than it is to you.

The biggest handicap Mario Kart 64 grants the player arguably nullifies the brutal rubber banding of the CPU: as long as you place 5th or lower, you can retry a course as much as you like. This is especially useful for any track you struggle with (like Choco Mountain), as not only can you gamble on items until you get a decent selection, but occasionally your rival will fall behind and eliminate themselves from the competition. The downside to this tactic is that you're forced to finish the race in order to have the option to restart, but riding out a single race is less punishing than retrying an entire cup. Individual matches will still often feel unfair—especially if the CPU sprints ahead early—but being able to Groundhog's Day until you win makes 64 the easiest Mario Kart to win in the series.

Plus it helps that the game still controls and plays well. There are definitely a couple of troubling issues that later games thankfully fix—I groan every time a red shell slams into a wall—but the driving and drifting work just fine. Any time you see an obstacle or an item box you can usually intercept or avoid it, which feels like a godsend after Mario Kart: Super Circuit would send my kart careening off the road. Also the long courses weren't as dull as I thought they were going to be, largely because they're packed with corners just begging to be drift boosted. Wario Stadium may lack visual flair and stage variety, but it'll keep your thumbs just as active as Mario Kart 8's courses.

Mario Kart 64 is far from exceptional—despite all the praise I've levied, I think every other 3D Mario Kart game is flat-out better than it. Yet I don't think I'd label 64 as "bad" or even "lackluster". The courses are decent, boost drifting requires some finesse to pull off, and grabbing the gold on 150cc & Mirror is less stress-inducing than shooting for 3-star ranks in future titles. Mario Kart 64's innate issue is that it's obsolete, sporting middling graphics, a paltry 16 courses, and an AI that's shamelessly busted. Fun can still be had with it, but you won't be sticking around for long.

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Images obtained from: imdb.com, mkworldrecords.fandom.com, nerdbacon.com, n64today.com

Mario Kart: Super Circuit - Thoughts

 

I don't think Mario Kart: Super Circuit for the Game Boy Advance is a good game. I didn't like it when I first tried it out years ago, and still don't like it after recently acquiring every gold medal. My issue with the game is simple: Super Circuit feels terrible to play. And no, it's not because of the hardware it's trapped on; F-Zero: Maximum Velocity (which came out several months prior) is an excellent GBA game with silky smooth controls. Super Circuit's problem is that it loyally models itself after Super Mario Kart, meaning that you're going to be involuntarily sliding, bouncing, and crashing into walls.

Racing games are somewhat unique in that their quality is first and foremost determined by how they play. Games with awkward or poor controls can have other strengths to help mitigate that (story, visuals, growth), but how many people are willing to devote more than an hour to a racing game if it just doesn't feel good? Of course, you have to be careful differentiating between "terrible controls" and a "high bar to entry"—I wasn't a fan of Wipeout HD when I first played it—but by the time you've conquered the "normal" difficulty of a game, it's likely that you'll know where you stand. For Mario Kart: Super Circuit I tried to keep an open mind, testing out every racer and different drifting strats, but I could never get a handle on how slippery the game felt even after finishing 150cc.

If you haven't played Super Circuit, just imagine playing a Mario Kart game wherein steering always makes you feel like you're drifting. Right turns can easily morph into a wide arcs, preserving your sideways momentum as if the tarmac is frozen. Worse still, nudging left or right to course correct can send you in strange directions, making you overshoot item boxes by dumb margins. As for drifting, it would frequently send me so far off course that I never used it for 150cc, given that cornering accurately won races more reliably than trying to eke out a speed boost here and there. In Super Circuit it feels less like you're in control of a go-kart and more like you're barely in control of the entire course, sloppily rotating it around your racer like a greased turntable.

The sliding is a huge pain in the ass because it transforms most turns into an exaggerated ordeal. It's not too hard to clear 90° angles but for anything wider, you're going to have to use the brake in order to avoid veering off road, which doesn't sound too annoying—except for the fact that the AI doesn't have this problem! Nowhere is this issue more vexing than in the Extra tracks, which are all taken from the winding SNES courses. Enjoy agonizing over hairpin turns as the computer zooms past you, able to effortlessly change direction even with a mushroom active (seriously, try the Extra Star Cup and tell me the game controls "just fine.")

While most of these complaints can be levied at the original Super Mario Kart, I think hindsight should've allowed Intelligent Systems to produce a better-playing game. Even if they wanted to be loyal to the hoverboard-like controls, it baffles me that they also kept the "bump racers and lose coins, regardless of weight" aspect. This dumb, cruel system needlessly makes the AI stronger, forcing you to avoid bumping racers even as Bowser unless you want to risk spinning out early. And strangely, even though the game includes all of the old SNES tracks, it removes a lot of their unique hazards like monty moles and thwomps... despite thwomps appearing in the regular GBA tracks. I also think the modern item box system makes the tracks worse, given that if a racer ahead of you takes an item box, it can leave you powerless for an entire lap.

While I don't like Super Circuit, I'll grudgingly admit it has a couple of things going for it. The game is vibrant and pretty, containing a lot of unique backgrounds that help distract the player from the ugly pixel warping on the race course. The SNES tracks, while inferior and flawed, still add a good amount of value, effectively doubling the playable content. Lastly 150cc is a fair and challenging difficulty most of the time, where poor steering will be the cause of your loss rather than suffering a flurry of red shells or blue shells. The dreaded blue shell in particular is extremely rare, showing up about once every twenty races or so—which is fine by me.

I don't regret having grown up without Mario Kart: Super Circuit, especially since I had F-Zero: Maximum Velocity to fill my portable speed-needs. I've always been in a bit of a love-hate relationship with Mario Kart, but I can still appreciate the flavorful track design and quirky vehicles of Mario Kart Wii, 7, and 8—basically every game other than the first three. Hell, I still hold a lot of nostalgia for Mario Kart 64, despite that entry having some of the longest, most dry circuits in the series. But these games remain fun to play, no matter what gripes I have; I can't say the same for Super Mario Kart, and in turn, its hunchbacked successor Super Circuit. Most tracks feel too similar, impassable walls blend in with the floor, but worst of all, it's a chore to play. We might be living through a nostalgic gaming renaissance, but Mario Kart: Super Circuit puts forth a sobering argument as to why sprite racers will be one genre to never see a comeback.